I am so excited to be writing and performing your marriage ceremony for you! It is always such a privilege to be invited into the important occasions in a couple or family’s life and it is one I take very seriously. Here are some tips to help make our working relationship the best it can be:
Your contract
Please keep your copy of our contract in your wedding file/folder to you can refer to it quickly and easily. I often get the same questions over and over and those questions are almost always answered in your contract.
Answers you will find in your contract include who gets your marriage licence (believe me, you do not want any random person to be able to get a legal document in your names without your knowledge!), and all of the ways you might forfeit your contract and slot with me.
Please read your contract carefully and make sure your partner (and wedding planner if you have one) has read it and understands it too – when I arrive at weddings I often have no contact with the bride (if there is a bride) and issues must be dealt with by the person in front of me. Any time I have handed the contract to the groom or person in charge, it comes as a huge shock to them because they knew nothing about the terms we all agreed to. This especially applies if I arrive at your wedding and get told we are starting an hour later than scheduled – please make sure everyone involved knows what will happen in that case.
Keeping your contract handy will make it extra easy for you to get your questions answered right away. If your question isn’t answered by your contract, please reach out and I will get it answered as quickly as possible.
Communication
The second clause in your contract states that you must respond to me within 72 hours of me sending any emails to you. If I do not get a response within 72 hours, I will assume you are no longer interested in having me at your wedding and will take you out of my book. Since this is likely the most important day of your life so far, I believe we should treat it that way.
If you are going on vacation, it is a good idea to let all of your vendors know in case any of us are trying to reach you and have no idea what is going on – if I know you are taking time away from emails I will waive this clause for that period of time.
Please keep ceremony conversations to email where I will be able to refer back to them as we get closer to your wedding. IG DMs are fun, but not for conducting business and they get lost and buried so quickly, it is impossible to find them again. IG messages will not be considered official communication. If you DM me about your ceremony, I will tell you to email me instead.
Phone Calls
I have terrible phone anxiety and avoid calls at all costs.
Yes…I know. I can stand in front of thousands of people and speak without flinching – but having to call my dentist brings me to my knees. PTSD is a strange beast so if you email me asking me to call you, please tell me what you would like to discuss.
You know how it feels when someone sends a text saying “we need to talk”…?
That’s how it feels for me and I find most problems can be resolved or answered in an email faster than a phone call.
Meetings
Your ceremony fee does not include meetings. I do everything online to keep things easy and stress-free for everyone. If you need extra support while you are planning your wedding, we can book a coaching call for you. Coaching is $100 and hour and most couples only need 1 hour, sometimes 2 as they get closer to their big day.
Documents
When I send you an email with documents attached, please do not change the name of the documents when you send them back to me. I am working with hundreds of couples at any given time and if you change the name of your intake or script, it will get lost in all of my documents. If you are sending me your vows, please name the document in the same format as the rest: “Name & Name – Name’s Vows – Date”.
I often get multiple documents in a day that are all named Vows.doc and I have to sift through all of them, then rename then, then get them into the correct folders on my laptop. This slows everything down and we do run the risk that the wrong vows could be brought to your wedding…..I have a lot of couples with the same names and my format keeps things organized and matched to the right people.
Rehearsals
Your fee does not include a rehearsal. If you would like to book me for a Friday or Saturday rehearsal, please let me know no more than 14 days before your ceremony. Thursday rehearsals can be booked at any time.
Reception Invitations
This is your special day with your family and friends and I usually only stay for a brief period of time after your ceremony to wish you well. I occasionally accept an invitation if it feels safe for me to do so – it is truly an honour to be included and invited to stay to celebrate with your loved ones. There are a variety of reasons I might turn down your invitation:
– I might have another wedding after yours
– I might have my own plans after I am finished working for the day
– I have a redonkulous amount of food allergies and might need a special meal
– I don’t want you spending your money on feeding me
– I come to weddings alone and staying for dinner alone is a bit uncomfortable, especially when I don’t know how warm and welcoming your friends and family may or may not be
– I can’t truly be ‘off the clock’ even if I’m not actively working at your wedding
– YOU might love that I am dancing the Macarena and enjoying a glass of champagne at your reception, but I don’t know which one of your guests will think that is unbecoming of a minister and leave a negative review for me
– I don’t know which one of your guests think the ‘staff’ should be using the back entrance and not mingling with the guests. I have been told drinks are for the guests when I ask for a glass of water
– I don’t know which one of your guests (after drinking all day) will come for me about XYZ religious belief – yep that has happened too!
– I might often work for your venue and it can feel squirmy to have my sometimes employer serving me at the party
I so so so appreciate every invitation I receive and trust me when I say your generosity touches my heart. Just please don’t be offended if I let you know I won’t be able to stay.
Please bookmark this page so you can refer to it easily between now and your wedding and you will have all of the information you need at your fingertips
Thanks!
Avril xoxo
Avril Ewing Officiant & Celebrant 