So what the heck is a Wedding Coach?

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Let’s turn those tears of frustration into tears of joy!

So often brides will book me, then tell me they have no idea what they are supposed to do next, which vendors to use, or how to plan a wedding, but they are thrilled to be getting married to the love of their life!  I start with a happy, excited bride, and by the time their wedding day comes around they are exhausted and defeated because they have lost control of their wedding or it isn’t what they envisioned. I often wonder what happened to that woman who was over the moon a year ago and is now the most stressed she has been in her life!  It’s so sad and I knew there was a way to help.

Over the course of planning their weddings I get messages from brides who don’t have anyone neutral or objective to turn to and talk things through. Often, I get frantic emails and messages from brides who just can’t take any more and are freaking out about every single detail, and the thought of getting married in front of hundreds of people is pushing them over the edge. They always start with “I’m so sorry to be bothering you with this, I know you’re only supposed to deal with our ceremony, but you’re the only person I know that I can talk to about these things! I feel bad for dragging you into my problems!”.

There is a need for brides to have someone to talk to who is emotionally removed from the wedding and the. Someone who can give them objective advice and can distill what their true vision is for their wedding, what a meaningful wedding is to them.  They need someone who can advocate for them and their vision, and remind them to show up for themselves just as much as they are showing up for everyone around them.

Let’s face it…not everyone loves planning their wedding. Some find it a horrendous experience and many put it off because they don’t even know where to begin!  Partners also suffer when the wedding plans are causing strife and stress and let’s be real…it’s usually the bride doing the planning, and having the meltdowns. I’ve been there. It isn’t pretty. Wedding planning can put a lot of pressure on your relationship, too much to do, and not everyone around you is helpful. Vendors don’t reply fast enough…if they do at all, the flowers and cake are way out of the budget, the dress shop suddenly closed….it’s all too much sometimes!

Your wedding coach is an advisor, conflict resolution expert, and relationship manager with a strong understanding of goal setting, and wedding planning, and looks a lot like a life coach. Your wedding coach is hired for the duration of your wedding planning, or when you feel you need them, until the day you get married. Your wedding coach collaborates with you to keep you on track with all of your wedding tasks, but keep in mind, your wedding coach is not your wedding planner and doesn’t go to meetings with vendors, dress fittings, cake tastings (ok I might be persuaded to attend those with you!), but is your Wedding Bestie ready to help you make decisions, plan your budget, and deal with any and all drama that comes up.

Your wedding coach guides you through your engagement period and helps you prioritize values and communication in your relationship, solve problems like parents wanting control of the wedding plans when they are paying for the bulk of it, forgotten friends who pop up as soon as you announce your wedding plans, the loss or divorce of parents and who will walk you down the aisle, navigating tradition in the modern world of weddings, who to include and who to exclude, how to disinvite someone, and how manage failing relationships during your wedding planning process and all the things no one talks about!

Your wedding coach keeps you organized, on schedule, and helps minimize the stress of planning your wedding. They help you manage your emotions and expectations as you meet challenges and setbacks during your wedding planning, as well as celebrating all of your wins and progress you have made each month.  They help reduce your stress and anxiety about your wedding, build your confidence, and keep you sane as you plan your wedding. They brainstorm with you and work on ideas and strategies to help your planning and wedding run smoothly, and talk things through with you in an objective and non-judgemental way, while providing healthy yet different perspectives. Your wedding coach also helps you meet your goals on time and according to plan, while maintaining control of your wedding plans so you can enjoy the process.

The entire point of getting married is because you love each other and want to spend your lives together – if every conversation revolves around wedding planning you can easily crumble under the pressure.  If you can’t afford a wedding planner or don’t want to use one, wedding coaching is an affordable way to get through the wedding planning process with your sanity while still maintaining sovereignty of your plans.

Many brides feel they have bitten off more than they can chew. Not everyone is great at organizing, managing people, and event planning and they quickly realize they can’t count on their friends, or venue event manager for everything they need. On top of the logistics of planning a wedding, there are also family pressures, relationship drama, grief coming up from past losses, financial issues, your relationship with each other suffering, and all the anxiety that comes with a huge transition in life. It can be all so overwhelming.

Getting married is scary and stressful enough, sometimes…all you need is someone to hold your hand, guide you through the process, and reassure you when the urge to pack it all or run off to Vegas kicks in, it will all be ok!  For many this has nothing to do with the wedding planning, it’s about all the craziness around planning the wedding and we don’t all have that really good friend who is willing to be your sounding board and coach for the 1-2 years you spend planning your wedding. Planning for the biggest day of your life can bring up all kinds of emotions you might not even realize were still lurking deep down.

Fortunately, there is help!

Your wedding planner is there to take care of the concrete details – numbers, food, wine, music, coordination, and all the physical details of your wedding day. Vendors often experience compassion fatigue when they are dealing with more than what they are contracted for – they aren’t meant to be your therapist or life coach or counsel you through the emotional roller coaster your engagement can be – nor do they want to!

Brides who have a wedding coach report less stress when planning their wedding and end up enjoying their day a lot more. Your wedding coach is an objective support person, sounding board, and has the sole job of being there for the bride (and groom) through their entire wedding journey. Think of your wedding coach as your wedding bestie!

Your wedding coach can help you learn to manage decisions and relationships with your vendors, your wedding party, your inlaws, and guests.  They help you get organizes, create strategies to keep your plans on track, and help you deal with situations that are less than perfect.

Together with your wedding coach you will be able to plot out SMART Goals:

S  –  Specific
M  –  Measurable
A  –  Attainable/Achievable
R  –  Realistic
T  –  Timely

By breaking down goals in this way, brides can choose which tasks to work on each day and how she wants to tackle them.

We celebrate every milestone on our monthly calls and honour every victory along the way. You work hard on your wedding and it’s important to take the time to mark that in tangible ways.

Together we will address the areas you feel the most stress and come up with solutions. We will address your anxiety, prioritize the details and come up with an actionable plan for you to follow each month.  As your wedding coach I will help you figure out which elements of your wedding should be booked in which order, helping you create a plan and stick with it. Over and over brides have told me they have no clue what steps to take, who to book, what they really need to include in their wedding, and how to tackle all of it while staying sane. There are so many resources available it can become and overwhelming and mind boggling blur of impossible decisions. I help you narrow down your choices and create a clear vision for your wedding.

I’m not your sister, your mother, your MIL, or auntie. I am a professional who will be honest and straightforward with you without worrying about being disliked for disagreeing, and I will never censor or invalidate your feelings and experience. I will listen to all of your ideas and help you find a way to make the best ones work based on my experience seeing what works, and what doesn’t work. You will still want to go ahead with your wedding after we chat!

Issues that often come up in the wedding planning process:

How do we decide on a budget and stick to it?
Who pays for what?  Is it really on all the bride’s family?
Who gets to make the big decisions?
Where do we even start with our planning?
How do we choose a venue?
How do I explain my wedding to my vendors?
Who do we invite and do we have to let them bring a guest?
I can’t decide on a wedding dress…what do I do?
How do we narrow down our choices for our invitations?
Do I have to include everyone in my bridal party?
Do we have to have bridesmaids and groomsmen?
How do I manage people taking over the wedding?
How do we get out wedding party to help out?
My dad is making demands – what do I do?
How can I stand up for myself?
My parents are divorced and hate each other, help!!

I’m worried about my future in-laws and our relationship, do I have to be friends with them?

PACKAGES

Each session is a 1 hour Zoom call, scheduled once a month and work best when you have sent your questions and concerns ahead of time so I can prepare to cover everything with you with the most up to date information.

1 Session  $100

You know what you want, have everything decided, and just need a little reassurance and clarity. This is for the bride who wants a neutral sounding board, and someone non-judgemental yet objective to talk your ideas through with to help connect you with the right vendors, and offer suggestions. By the end of this call you will confident your plans are achievable and you will be to launch your wedding! Pop the champagne!

4 Sessions  $300

You are so excited to be engaged and get married…and you don’t have a clue where to begin. Wedding planning feels overwhelming on top of reality of daily life. You have some ideas but don’t know how to break them down into manageable steps and achievable plans. You know you need to take the first steps and get started with planning your wedding, but you’re stuck and frustrated. Over the course of 4 sessions you will be walked through the wedding planning process, create a plan, and I will hold your hand as you build your confidence. We start from picking a date and take you right through to your last song and you will be all set to start making decisions and book your vendors!

8 Sessions $500

You are truly lost!  You can’t handle the thought of all the plans and decisions you need to make, and you are ready to have your officiant meet you at the park to elope!  You have no clue how to create your vision boards, make decisions that are authentic to you as a couple, and the opinions of everyone you know are making you crazy! Let’s not forget the family dynamic swirling around you just waiting to erupt. All of this is making you resist planning your Big Day!  I will help calm you down, listen to all of your worries and struggles, and help you clarify what is really important to you and your partner. We will get all of your plans and ideas organized and create an agenda for you to follow each month until your Big Day!

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