Things to Consider When Choosing Your Maid of Honour

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Photo by Stephanie Gene

When you have so many wonderful women in your life, including friends, sisters, and cousins, choosing a maid of honour can be a little bit tricky. You love them all and you definitely don’t want to make someone feel bad, so how do you decide who to choose your maid of honour? It is a question I get a lot in my coaching sessions so I thought I would break down some of the advice I give my couples!

What Do You Need?

Before you start wondering who you should ask to be your maid of honour, decide what you’re going to need during the months leading up to your wedding. Do you need someone to help you with your long to-do list or do you simply want to honour someone in your life? If you are going to need your maid of honour to be more hands-on, choose someone who loves planning and is organized and creative. Make a list of everything you expect from your maid of honour and share it with her before asking her to commit.

Consider Her Schedule

Before you ask a friend or family member to take a leading role in your wedding party, take the time to think about her current schedule and commitments. For example, if your sister just had a baby, she may not have the time or energy to take on maid of honour duties too. You should also think about what your maid of honour will need to do. If you want to ask your baby sister to be your leading lady, keep in mind that she may not be old enough to plan the bachelorette bash you’re hoping for.

You Don’t Need to Stick to the Norm

This is your wedding and there is absolutely nothing stopping you from choosing two maids of honour or none at all. If you really can’t choose between your two best friends and your sister, why not spread the duties out equally? This way, everyone feels like they have an important role to play in your day and you won’t end up hurting anyone’s feelings. Not having a maid of honour is not going to change a thing on your wedding day, so don’t feel pressured into choosing one when you don’t have to. – just be sure to have someone ready to be a witness for you when it comes time to sign all of the paperwork at the end of your ceremony.

It May Not Be an Obvious Choice

Many brides don’t actually end up choosing a sister or female friend to be their maid of honour. Know that it’s perfectly ok to look beyond the obvious and choose your brother or best guy friend to fill this important role. Some brides even ask their mothers to stand by their side on their special day – there is no hard and fast rule about who you should choose!


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