
You just got engaged, or maybe you have been engaged for a while, either way, you’re about to celebrate and commemorate your relationship in a big way! There is so much to consider as you plan a wedding, so much that it can easily become overwhelming and stressful. This doesn’t have to be the case though – with a few simple adjustments, you can enjoy more of your wedding planning process.
There’s no need to rush!
I often have couples come to me the morning after they got engaged and they are scrambling to get all of their vendors booked in one day. Every Christmas morning I wakes up to emails and messages from couples who popped the question and said yes the night before and are ready to get their wedding planned!
I love the enthusiasm and willingness to conduct business at any time of the day or on any day of the year, but there really is no huge rush. Take a bit of time to enjoy being engaged, bask in the moment, and celebrate with your friends and family before diving in to what might be the most challenging time of your life. Wedding planning isn’t easy so my best advice is to really enjoy the moment before you start the planning process.
Hire a Wedding Coach
Unlike a wedding planner, a wedding coach helps keep YOU on track not just with your wedding plans and logistics, but also emotionally and mentally! We know the ins and outs of planning a wedding as well as all of the problems that can arise and the things you don’t even know you might need to consider. Think of your wedding coach as a neutral Auntie who will help you keep your sanity while you plan your wedding, and nurture your relationship as a couple.
Over the course of planning their weddings I get messages from brides who don’t have anyone neutral or objective to turn to and talk things through. Often, I get frantic emails and messages from brides who just can’t take any more and are freaking out about every single detail, and the thought of getting married in front of hundreds of people is pushing them over the edge. They always start with “I’m so sorry to be bothering you with this, I know you’re only supposed to deal with our ceremony, but you’re the only person I know that I can talk to about these things! I feel bad for dragging you into my problems!”.
There is often a need for brides and couples to have someone to talk to who is emotionally removed from the wedding and the. Someone who can give them objective advice and can distill what their true vision is for their wedding, what a meaningful wedding is to them. They need someone who can advocate for them and their vision, and remind them to show up for themselves just as much as they are showing up for everyone around them.
Let’s face it…not everyone loves planning their wedding. Some find it a horrendous experience and many put it off because they don’t even know where to begin! Partners also suffer when the wedding plans are causing strife and stress and let’s be real…it’s usually the bride doing the planning, and having the meltdowns. I’ve been there. It isn’t pretty. Wedding planning can put a lot of pressure on your relationship, too much to do, and not everyone around you is helpful. Vendors don’t reply fast enough…if they do at all, the flowers and cake are way out of the budget, the dress shop suddenly closed….it’s all too much sometimes!
Your wedding coach is an advisor, conflict resolution expert, and relationship manager with a strong understanding of goal setting, and wedding planning, and looks a lot like a life coach. Your wedding coach is hired for the duration of your wedding planning, or when you feel you need them, until the day you get married. Your wedding coach collaborates with you to keep you on track with all of your wedding tasks, but keep in mind, your wedding coach is not your wedding planner and doesn’t go to meetings with vendors, dress fittings, cake tastings (ok I might be persuaded to attend those with you!), but is your Wedding Bestie ready to help you make decisions, plan your budget, and deal with any and all drama that comes up.
If you are interested in hiring me as your wedding coach, please reach out!
Delegate as Much as Possible
Avoid burnout by accepting help from people around you. Just because you want things done a certain way doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. Friends and family are more than willing to help you out, you simply have to ask – or accept the help the offer.
Hand over tasks that you were planning to DIY. The extra hands will reduce stress and get things done more quickly. Just makes sure you keep records of who is doing what and stay on top of their progress.
Friendors can help a lot, but only if they don’t flake on you 3 days before your wedding. Monthly check ins on their progress will keep everyone on track and help keep your anxiety in check.
Think About the Experience More
While it’s important to stick to a budget for your wedding, it can make the planning process more stressful. Instead of focusing on what you are able to purchase to bring your wedding day to life, focus on how you want your guests to feel.
Once you start focusing on the experience, you will find that you don’t actually need everything you thought you did. Why purchase those extra expensive flowers to spruce up your tables when you can rather create a custom cocktail that your guests will remember. Instead of hiring a professional singer for your ceremony, ask that friend with the beautiful voice to sing something special for you.
Think back on all the weddings you have been to and make a list of the things you remember about them. Those are the things you might want to focus on for your own wedding!
Put All the Essentials in One Place
Couples can spend a lot of time answering the same questions once they start inviting guests to their wedding. To bypass this and reduce wedding planning stress, create a wedding website where guests can access all the information they need for the day. You now have more time to focus on other more important tasks. Remember you aren’t limited to the wedding website offerings – you can easily create your own free website on WordPress or Mailchimp with pages and links for everything your guests might need!
One of the big benefits of using Mailchimp is that you can add in all of your loved one’s emails, categorize them, and send emails to the groups that need them. So if you want to send an email to everyone who needs to be in the immediate family photos right after your ceremony, you can pick and choose who gets that email. Same for your wedding party – you can choose just your bridesmaids and groomsmen to receive the emails about pre-wedding events and activities. You will also be able to see who opened each email! This comes in handy when someone tells you they didn’t know about whatever event or information you sent out.
Creating an online gift registry is also highly recommended and can be a fun outing together if you decide to visit stores in person to get your registry created. Don’t forget about Amazon for creating your own wish list!
Spend Enough Time on Vendor Research
Hiring experienced vendors is another way you can spend more time enjoying the months leading up to your wedding. Experienced vendors are more organized and will help you better plan your day without much effort on your part – and we know what we are doing. Yes your wedding is so special, and it’s also just another day at the office for your vendors. We have wedding planning down a science, are connected to all the best vendors you will also need, and know our way around timelines.
Take the time to check out the vendors you are interested in! Read their websites, look at their socials, and figure out who you want to hire before reaching out to them. A great vendor will have all of your questions answered on their website/socials so you don’t need to waste time asking the same questions over and over.
I always recommend booking your venue and Officiant first so at the very least you know you are going to be getting married on your day. Ask those vendors who they recommend if you don’t already have other vendors in mind.
Using preferred vendors (or in my case my Gold List of Vendors) means you know the people you hire work well together and can work out any issues that come up. There are photographers I have worked with so many times that we no longer need to talk about what will happen during the ceremony – we know what each other will do to help get the best photos possible!
Find Time for Self-Care
If you don’t find time for self-care, you might wake up on your wedding day feeling exhausted and frazzled. I can always tell the bride who ran herself into the ground as soon as I see her face at her wedding. We want you relaxed and happy, knowing everything is in good hands!
Self-care doesn’t mean a weekly spa visit! Simply finding time to switch off for an hour several times a week is all you need. Take a long bath, go out for a quiet dinner with your spouse with no wedding talk, or arrange a brunch with your besties.
Self-care is also dealing with your own triggers and traumas that might be creeping to the surface. It might also be having those tough conversations with people when your boundaries are being crossed. Self care is having strong boundaries to begin with!
When you’re more balanced, the wedding planning process doesn’t feel as overwhelming and can actually be a lot of fun!
Keep these tips in mind and remember, your wedding planning process can and should be fun and memorable and a time you look back on with joy!
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